The parrot joke.

Just saw this one come around again–it’s been a while.  Worth capturing here for the bookmark.  I’ve not yet seen an attribution for the joke, but would be happy to make one if I become so aware.  At any rate, the joke is not mine!

The swearing parrot

A couple decided that their son, 5, was now old enough to have a pet. He decided that he’d like a talking parrot. The proprietor of the local pet shop seemed very pleased to see them and sold them a handsome, adult bird he’d recently acquired. He assured them it could speak fluently and would make an excellent companion for their son, gave them a good price – and seemed genuinely relieved to see the bird going to a good home.

The trouble started on the drive home. The initially sleepy bird livened up and started abusing other road users in very…colorful language. Over the next few days, it became apparent that the parrot had an extensive vocabulary, of which about 50% was pure filth. The last straw was a visit from the pastor. Let’s just say he left with a very red face.

The pet shop owner was mysteriously unavailable, so they took the feathered fiend to the vet. He admitted that their problem was beyond his expertise, but he knew an expert in animal behavior who might be able to help.

The expert thought long and hard and then said, “I may have a cure. It will seem rather off the wall, but I’d ask you to just try it and see how it goes: the next time the cursing starts, grab the bird, stick it in the freezer for exactly 15 seconds, and take it out again. Let’s see if the shock resets its behavior.”

They thought this was a little extreme, but their son was already very fond of his new pet and they felt they had to try. As soon as they returned home, the bird started in on them, so the husband grabbed him, shoved him in the freezer, counted to 15, and took him out again.

The bird looked absolutely stunned for a moment and then, in a very quiet voice, timidly said, “I am so very, very sorry. I do faithfully promise that I will never, ever, speak like that again.”

Then, after a long pause, and even more timidly,

“What, exactly, did the chicken do?”

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